Fight Club

Calvin and Aiden had been rough-housing and Halei was worried that they were hitting a little too hard. Aiden spoke up and said that they could take it. Calvin turned on Aiden and began questioning his toughness.

Calvin: If I stomped on your head, would you cry?
Aiden: No.
Calvin: If I pounded your face off, would you cry?
Aiden: No.
Calvin: I mean pounded your head all the way off?
(pause and silence in the van)
Calvin: Actually, I would never do that. I was just joking. (pause again) I WILL pound your face though.

At Dinner

Dad: Calvin, it looks like you've been flailing around on your plate of meatloaf. What a mess.
Calvin: Say that again and you'll see a BIG mess.



The next night, Calvin let his dad in on a little secret. "You know when I said that about the mess last night? I was going to pour my milk on your head."